How to Break Free of the Past

1. Don’t think about what could or should have been

2. Ground yourself in the present; think of ONE thing you enjoy

3. Read inspiring stories, books, quotes and blogs

4. Listen to music that helps to lift your mood

5. Decide to be a winner – no matter what it takes

6. Accept that blocks and failures are a normal part of life

7. Decide to take a step towards the life you want to have.

Steps to Self-forgiveness

1. Take responsibility for what you said or did.

2. Think about how you were feeling at the time, or what was driving you to act in that way.

3. Related to this, try to identify the underlying need, or the motive behind the thing you now regret. (For example, respect from others, approval from others, wanting to feel good about yourself, wanting to pay another back, and so on.)

4. Express your regrets and attempt to make amends if your words or your actions have affected someone else.

5. Think of how you’ll change and will act differently, if the same situation occurs again. This is the real person that you truly want to be.

6. Write yourself a caring and empathic letter where you forgive yourself, and tell yourself you can move on.

7. Remember that your human – and we all have deep regrets; and we’re all on a journey – for there’s non-one who is perfect.

How to Live Without Regrets

1. Discover and follow your own path in life.

2. Don’t be afraid to say no to other people.

3. Make character a goal, and a top priority.

4. Don’t procrastinate, or fail to do the things that really matter.

5. Spend your time with people who affirm and value you.

6. Don’t ruminate on failures, misjudgments, or mistakes.

7. Do things that you’ll be proud of when you look back on your life.

8. Don’t take yourself too seriously, or worry all the time.

How to Leave the Past Behind

When you’re feeling overwhelmed with your sadness and loss, it’s hard to believe that your life will ever change, or you’ll ever be able to smile or laugh again. But the truth is you will – it won’t always be this bad – and there are things you can do help move on with your life:

1. Decide to face your pain. An unresolved past never really goes away. You may think you have buried your anger and pain but the hurt is still there and it will surface later on. If you don’t face what happened, and the feelings it unleashed, you will end up being ruled by your subconscious mind. So try and find the courage to revisit all the pain.

2. Accept there’s nothing you can do to change the past. What’s happened has happened, and what’s done is done. There’s nothing you can do to turn back the hands of time, or to rewrite the story so the ending’s happier. But you can change how you think, and you can start over again, and build a different future that’s not poisoned by the past.

3. Be grateful for the good times. There’s usually something good that you can be thankful for. You don’t have to pretend that everything was bad – or write off any good times and happy memories.

4. Consciously let go and set your focus on the future – Don’t let the baggage, or the failures of the past, affect your identity or self esteem. You are not what you did, or how you acted previously. You’re not just a product of what happened to you. You are valuable, unique and you have so much to give. You’re the author of your future; you control your destiny.

5. Remove your past from your future. We all have a tendency to think that the past will morph into our future – and become our lot in life. But that doesn’t have to happen. The future’s a blank page. You can change your expectations and work towards those goals. Instead, look hard for the exceptions – the times when things went right – and notice what you did that resulted in success. You still have those same strengths, skills and great qualities.

6. Be realistic and take small steps at first. You can’t snap your fingers and find that life has changed. Accept it will take time, and you will still have some bad days. But if you keep on going then the past will lose its grip.

7 Sources of Hurt and Pain

1. Realizing that you’ve lost them and can never have them back

2. Reliving the old memories and the fun times that you had

3. Pretending that you’re happy when you’re miserable and sad

4. Being obsessed with the wrong person who will never love you back

5. Regretting how you acted, or the careless things you said

6. Recognizing it’s your fault that things have turned out wrong

7. Being abandoned or rejected by your friends or family.

7 Signs that show you’re negatively attached t…

1. You can’t, or won’t, talk about it.

2. You’re constantly being hit by “those same old feelings.”

3. You can’t relax and be yourself with certain people from your past.

4. You’re attracted to partners who treat you negatively.

5. You over-react, and find it hard to calm down.

6. You have poor boundaries, and always feel you’re being used.

7. You’re always making poor decisions, and repeating old mistakes.

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